the Writings of Johnathan Lee Gower
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I Passed Her By or Separate Regrets

I passed her by, lyin’ on the railroad tracks
out in the middle . . . of nowhere
something about her, has drawn me back
lustrous lips or golden hair
maybe that vacant look of despair

she’s so much more than I can see
she’s been through blood and hell and life’s debris
what draws my stare and doesn’t dare
won’t plumb her depths--
our separate regrets

I walked the bridge over the river of her presence
she was already three foot in
stilled my heart, turning me around in reverence
baptismal wetness on perfect skin
drawn the blade now where to begin

she’s so much more than I can see
she’s been through blood and hell and life’s debris
what draws my stare and doesn’t dare
won’t plumb her depths--
our separate regrets

I caught her scent in the breeze through the woods
off the trail where the vines are thick
stirred my blood like nothing should
downy hair at the nape of her neck
hemp tied high on a branch well set

she’s so much more than I can see
she’s been through blood and hell and life’s debris
what draws my stare and doesn’t dare
won’t plumb her depths--
our separate regrets

In my mind we touched as she neared the cliff’s edge
picked the greatest height and the smallest trace
my dream is rapture under bright skies we pledge
bright glory and perfect grace
as to the valley’s floor she’s erased

she’s so much more than I can see
she’s been through blood and hell and life’s debris
what draws my stare and doesn’t dare
won’t plumb her depths--
our separate regrets



  


April 14, 2008.
2:27 A. M.
I Soon Will Wake

I’m flying high and through the clouds
to the thinning air above
where substance that I breathe
lacks my bloods deepest needs
and though my body thins and fades
through my loss I soon will wake
please don’t
please don’t
please, don’t take me away and back to where . . .

All the years of struggling,
I strained each passing day
one life, too long in losing everything
I grew tired of pretending
everything’s okay

turned my mind away from the outside
and inward curved my care
my life, too much while too miniscule
bring a weapon about
into the hollow barrel stare

I’ll be flying high and through the clouds
to the thinning air above
where the substance that I breathe
lacks my bloods deepest needs
and though you lift my body away
vain your efforts, I will not wake
you won’t
you won’t
no you won’t take me away and back there . . .

My own intimate torment
engulfed each and every nerve
as nothing to their own agonies
they force their way six feet
beneath the dampened earth

Long to join in their peace
away from the still and far below
your lives, you’ll forfeit at any price
brain awash with the sliver
of silver light we go

We’ll be flying high and through the clouds
to the thinning air above
where the substance that we breathe
lacks out bloods deepest needs
and though we’ve scarce been there before
to death’s tunnel freely soar
I will
you will
we will plummet through and down beware . . .

Expecting lighted ways,
            you will follow me
seeing through a dim-lit haze,
            will you falter?
If the tunnel ends,
            where rainbows are black
Find no comfort when,
            there’s no turning back.






March 22, 2008.
1:02 A. M.

So Tired

I am so tired of living this way
every moment’s a struggle
surviving the day
I’ve grown so weary of rising from death
every morning’s a sentence
been christened since bed

looking forward to an end
hoping longingly again
as each sun it passes by
wishing stars to let me die

what holds me to this place?
tell me please and I’ll erase
to speed my way beyond
don’t care where I’ll have gone

I am so tired of living this way
every moment’s a struggle
surviving the day
I’ve grown so weary of rising from death
every morning’s a sentence
been christened since bed

every sorrow seems a jest
crushing truth upon my chest
laden heavy daily strife
learning lonely bitter spite

blurring vision of red has gone
the desire for vengeance flown
been expended every note
from a silent, hollow soul

I am so tired of living this way
every moment’s a struggle
surviving the day
I’ve grown so weary of rising from death
every morning’s a sentence
been christened since bed

weary of living each day
roughly pompous, blooding way
ignorant of the path afield
come to sorrow’s journey reveal

pilgrim bound for peaceful fields
to plow a row of restful yield
I wish I may I wish I might
know no burden but the light



November 9, 2011; Wednesday.
2:55 P. M.

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and
my burden is light.
(Matthew 11:28-30, New International Version, 1984)
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